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how should we revise the first or the second draft?

whether a beginner or a professional, every writer must revise, that is, go back over the first draft or the second draft of a thesis, rewriting unclear sentences, adding details or examples, crossing out unnecessary words or ideas, and perhaps rearranging parts. in other words, never hand in the first version of any paragraph or essay, but revise then rewrite, creating the best paper of which you are capable.

brainstorm reasons for revision

features of effective sentences

1.unity is the first quality of an effective sentence. a unified sentence expresses a single complete thought. e.g. :

faulty:

du fu was one of the greatest poets.

revised: du fu was one of the greatest poets of the

tang period.

2.coherence means clear and reasonable connection between parts. e.g. :

faulty:

a man is judged not only by what he says but

also by his deeds.

revised: a man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does.

3.conciseness: a sentence should contain no unnecessary words.

4.emphasis: when there is an important idea, it should be expressed with emphasis.

5.variety is essential to good writing. (short: long; simple: compound and complex; statement: question, command or exclamation; periodic: loose…)

6.consistency: all good writing is consistent. that is, each sentence and each paragraph in the final draft should move along smoothly, without confusing shifts in tense, number, person, or discourse. e.g. :

faulty:

we stroll down bourbon street as the

jazz bands began to play.

revised: we strolled down bourbon street as the jazz bands began to play.

revision

after you have taken a break, you can criticize and make changes on the first draft.

you might notice these problems:

the beginning of the paragraph isn’t very lively.

the wording in several sentences sounds too informal or even babyish.

the relationship between ideas could be clearer

more details could be added in a few spots or taken out in others.

there are a few spelling or punctuation errors.

suggestions

go back to revise your first draft one or more times. it may necessary to rewrite the paper after you’ve made changes on the original version, and then to make further changes on the rewritten version. at various stages in the revising process, read your paper aloud – and read the final version to someone else if possible.

the final draft

after you feel satisfied with your revisions, you can then make a clean copy of the final draft according to the format your instructor recommends. that, basically, is how the writing process works. first, you discover and begin to organize your ideas. next, you write a first draft. and finally, you revise it as many times as necessary to make it clear, lively, logical, and legible.

summary

in the writing process, you should consider your subject, your audience, and your purpose;discover your ideas by putting them into words;decide what to include and how to organize it;write a first draft (and don’t worry about making it perfect);take a break, then criticize and revise the first draft (making changes on the original if you wish);read your paper aloud, preferably to another person;

proofread the final draft for spelling errors, repeated words, or words left out.

polishing

recopy your final draft, and then proofread it for words left out, words repeated, spelling errors, and punctuation errors.

homework

read the special topics in accordance with your interest.

chapter 9

the format of thesis

how many kinds of formats do you know in thesis writing?

generally speaking, 3 kinds. they are:

chicago manual -- the chicago manual of style

mla -- the modern language association style

apa -- publication manual of the american psychological association

1.the format of quotation

1) direct quotation:

use quotation marks to

tell your readers that you are borrowing someone else’s exact words. short works (less than 40 words) or no more than two lines of a poem, which may be quoted within the paragraph.

2) indirect quotation:

for a long section, change for another paragraph and remember to condense the space (5 spaces). directly after this indirect quotation, it should be followed with author, year and page. ( harris 1995: 45-47)

2.the format of references

surname, given name. year. title. place: press.

e.g.

arnold, j. 1999. affect in language learning.

cambridge: cambridge university press

bolinger, d. l. 1957. interrogative structures of american english. alabama: the university of alabama press.

xiang maoying. xx. cultural barriers to the

application of communicative approach. teaching english in china 24/2: 29-31.

zhang zhendong. 1997. psychology of primary school students. hangzhou: zhejiang education press.

(中国英语教学,xx:1/27)

3.the structure and format of a thesis

front cover

p2: contents (english)

p3: abstracts and key words (both english and chinese. abstract: less than 250 words; key words: 3-5 words)

text (6000- 7000 words, 4-5 spaces in the first

sentence of each paragraph)

references

p.s.

leave one line space between two parts.

the final version: no “第

稿”.

text: small 4 size.

references: [ 1 ] author. title. press. time

4.opening report

title of the thesis.

the purpose of the study of the subject.

researching situations both at home and abroad.

the cause and meaning of researching the subject.

main viewpoints, contents, important point and difficult points of the subject.

the writing structure of the subject, including:introduction /statement/conclusion/references

researching basis.

researching methods.

writing stages:1st draft: time; 2nd draft: time; 3rd draft: time

the final version (thesis defense: time)

remember: read through the thesis writing course book carefully.

choose a subject, collect enough materials and prepare well enough for writing the thesis for graduation

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