Caring for Elderly Parents Catches ManyUnprepared
Last July, Julie Baldocchis mother had a massive stroke(中风)and was paralyzed. Baldocchisuddenly had to become a family caregiver, something that she wasnt preparedfor.
I was flying by the seat of my pants, says Baldocchi,an employment specialist in San Francisco. Both of her parents are 83, and sheknew her father couldnt handle her mothers care.
The hospital recommended putting her mother in a nursing home.Baldocchi wasnt willing to do that. But moving her back into her parents homecreated other problems.
Baldocchi, 48, is married and lives about a mile away from herparents. She has a full-time job and has back problems that make it difficultfor her to lift her mother. I couldnt do it all, she says.But I didnt even know how to find help.
With help from the Family Caregiver Alliance, she eventually hireda live-in caregiver. But even if you plan intellectually and legally,youre never ready for the emotional impact, Baldocchi says. In the firsttwo months after her mothers stroke, she lost about 30 pounds as stressmounted.
More than 42 million Americans provide family care giving for anadult who needs help with daily activities, according to a 2009 survey by theAARP. An additional 61.6 million provided at least some care during the year.
And many are unprepared.
Starting with the paperwork
While many parents lack an advance care directive, its the mostbasic and important step they can take. The directive includes several parts,including: a durable power of attorney(授权书)，which gives someonelegal authority to make financial decisions on anothers behalf; a health careproxy(代理委托书)，which is similar tothe power of attorney, except it allows someone to make decisions regardingmedical treatment; and a living will that outlines instructions for end-of-lifecare. (For example, parents can say if they want to be kept alive by artificialmeasures.)
Its invaluable for the kids, because its hard to makethose decisions for a parent, says Jennifer Cona, an elder-law attorneyat Genser Cona in Melville, N.Y..
An advance care directive is the first line of defense if asituation arises, says Kathleen Kelly, executive director of the FamilyCaregiver Alliance, which supports and educates caregivers. Without an advancedirective, the family will have to petition the court to be appointed theparents legal guardian, says AgingCare. com.
Its important for families to talk about long-term care so theadult children know their parents preferences,wishes and goals, says LynnFeinberg, a caregiving expert at AARP. But its not an easy conversation.
Elderly parents are sometimes suspicious of their childrensfinancial motives, says Susan John, a financial planner at Financial Focus inWolfeboro, N.H.. One client asked John to hold a family meeting because they neededan intermediary to talk about financial issues, she says.
And when there are many siblings(兄弟姐妹)，the familydecisions can become a three-ring circus with much acrimony(尖刻)，says Ann-Margaret Carrozza, an elder-lawattorney in Glen Cove, N.Y..
Families who need information and help sorting out disagreementscan call on elder-law attorneys, financial planners, geriatric(老年人的)care managers and care giversupport,rouos. In February, AARP said it will offer its members a newcaregiving support service through financial services firm Genworth. Navigatingthe long-term care system
Many families are unprepared for quick decisions, especially whenthey find out that Medicare doesnt pay for long-term care, Feinberg says.
The median cost of a year in a private room at a nursing home in2011 was $77,745, according to Genworth.
And only those who have spent most of their assets can qualify forMedicaid to pay for the nursing home.
Assisted living is another option. Residents can have their ownapartment to maintain some independence.
But the facilities generally provide personal care services, suchas meals, housekeeping and assistance with activities.
Still, its not cheap: The national median cost in 2011 was$39,135, according to Genworth. Assisted living isnt covered by Medicaid.
If they have a choice, at least 90% of elderly parents prefer tostay at home as long as they can, according to
AARP research.
But it is possible that the parents can no longer safely live athome, and it can be hard for children to move them into an adult care facility.
There may be another option. Sometimes the home can be modified soa parent can stay there. For example,
Baldocchi put in a chair lift for her mother. She also arrangedfor a home caregiver.
The job of family caregivers
Family Caregivers take over many responsibilities. One might manage a parentsfinances, while another sibling will take the parent to doctors appointmentsand shopping. Those who live with a parent take on a significant and sustainedburden of care.
Jan Walker moved into her mothers home in Leesburg, Fla. Afterher mother, who is 83, had fallen, she wasnt able to get around as well.
Walker, 55, has three brothers. But she is the only daughter, is divorced andhas no children. I always knew that this was the role that I would have.and I guess my mind was prepared for it, says Walker, who now is afull-time caregiver and works from home as a tutorial instructor for a digitalscrapbooking(剪贴簿)website.
When you get into the trenches, its literally baptism(洗礼)by fire, she says. New things come up. Its not just aboutadvance planning for finances or medical care. Its everything, she says.
Caregivers need to also watch their own health. There issuch a thing as caregiver burnout, Cona says.
Among female caregivers 50 and older, 20% reported symptoms ofdepression, according to a 2010 study on working caregivers by MetLife.
Its a hard job, Walker says. But mostworthwhile things are hard. She was always there for me when I needed a helpinghand. Its only natural that I be here for her now.
1. The sentence I was flying by the seat of my pants(Line 1, Paragraph 2) implies that __________.
A) Baldocchi thought her workload was too heavy
B) Baldocchi felt sad that her parent was paralyzed
C) Baldocchi was unprepared to give up herjob
D) Baldocchi was not ready to take care of her parents all daylong
2. Baldocchi lost some weight in two months because __________.
A) she had back problems
C) she couldnt find someone to help her
B) she was under a lot of stress
D) her father couldnt care for her mother
3. In terms of a health care proxy, __________.
A) someone makes financial decisions on anothers behalf
B) someone cares for another at the end of his/her life
C) someone has the power to treat anothers disease
D) someone makes decisions for another regarding his/her medicaltreatment
4. According to the passage, one advantage of having an advancecare directive is __________.
A) the family will not have to petition the court to be appointedthe parents legal guardian
B) the family don!:t have to worry about the issues concerning thecare of elderly parents
C) the parents will not be suspicious of their childrensfinancial motives
D) the parents will be free of the financial burden put on them bytheir children
5. One of the reasons why it is difficult to settle financialissues is that __________.
A) people alwaYs need an intermediary to talk about financialissues
B) people always have to hold a family meeting to settle financialissues
C) elderly parents are sometimes suspicious of their childrensfinancial motives
D) the siblings will sometimes fight over the financial issues
6. Medicaid can pay for the nursing home of the senior citizensonly when__________.
A) he or she has no children to rely on
B) the cost has surpassed half of the supporters assets
C) the nursing home costs no more than $77,745 a year
D) his or her lifespan is not too long
7. Where do most American elders who need care prefer to stay ifthey can make a choice?
A) The nursing house.
C) Home.
B) The assisted living center.
D) Hospital
8. If it is hard forchildren to move their parent who cant live independently into an adult carefacility, they can_________________so the parent can stay there.
9. Among several siblings,_________________take on a significant and sustained burden of care.
10. Caregivers should also pay attention to their own health.According to Cona, there is such a thing a_________________.
答案解析:
1.D
2.B
3.D
4.A
5.C
6.B
7.C
8.modify their houses/homes
9.those who live with a parent
10.caregiver burnout
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